GAYS AND MASTURBATION BETWEEN SIN AND NORMALITY

This post is dedicated to a comparison between the positions of the Catholic Church on the masturbation and the reality of the phenomenon, as it appears through a simple analysis of the facts.

The definition of masturbation given by the Catechism of the Catholic Church (Part Three, Section Two, Chapter Two, art. 6, n. 2352) (http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P85.HTM) is: “deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure“. The English text uses  “sexual pleasure”, but the Latin one uses ”veneream voluptatem” (venereal lust). The use of the adjective venereal, now obsolete in everyday language and even in medical terminology where the expression “venereal diseases” has been replaced by the more accurate expression “sexually transmitted diseases”, is indebted to Thomas Aquinas, who, in the “quaestio” of Summa Theologica dedicated to lust (Summa Thelogica II^ IIae, q. 153), frequently uses expressions that refer to “venereal lust (ἀφροδισιαστικός)” such as “delectationes venereae”, “voluptates venereas”, “actus venereus”, “usus  venereorum”.

The Catechism is limited to a mere reference to the Declaration “Persona Humana” of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (end of 1975) that however treats the subject in a much more structured way.

The point n. 9 of the Declaration Persona Humana on masturbation is one of the most typical examples of closed dogmatic structure of Catholic morality.

The Declaration Persona humana approaches the topic “masturbation” recalling that: “The traditional Catholic doctrine that masturbation constitutes a grave moral disorder is often called into doubt or expressly denied today. It is said that psychology and sociology show that it is a normal phenomenon of sexual development, especially among the young.” The Church opposes these psychological or sociological theories only with its authority stating that “according to someone” that the Church considers certainly in error, in masturbation “there is real and serious fault only in the measure that the subject deliberately indulges in solitary pleasure closed in on self (“ipsation”), because in this case the act would indeed be radically opposed to the loving communion between persons of different sex which some hold is what is principally sought in the use of the sexual faculty.” Beyond the fact that the text expressly speaks of “persons of different sex,” it introduces a distinction, in the context of masturbation, between “heterosexual” affective masturbation and “ipsation”. The term “ipsation” (from the Latin “ipse” = myself) was coined by Magnus Hirschfeld and was used in the psycho-biological questionnaire to be filled from patients of the Institute for Sexual Science in Berlin founded by Hirschfeld himself in 1919.

The question. 35 of the questionnaire was as follows: “Do you ever let yourself go to ipsation, i.e. to the satisfaction achieved through onanism? When did you start masturbating? How did you contract this habit? Have you been encouraged by people of your age or of different ages? From people of your same sex or different sex? Up to what age? With what intervals and what mental representations and how did you masturbate? If you are a woman, by external caresses or through the introduction of foreign objects in your body? Have you ever struggled against this trend? If so, by what means (vows, prayers, etc.) “.

The document Persona humana uses the term ipsation (now very rarely used by sexologists) to indicate a “solitary pleasure closed in on self” that would be the reason for the immorality of this “only” kind of masturbation. Obviously the Declaration does not consider any psycho-sexual topic and merely judges morally irrelevant the distinction between “heterosexual” affective masturbation, which implies at least a projective couple dimension, and ipsation i.e. the non-affective masturbation, as if it was that there is a dividing line between the two, and as if the question of the moral legitimacy of masturbation was reduced to this. The document points out that masturbation is still and always condemned by the Church for constant tradition and that whatever the reasons that induce certain indulgence toward affective masturbation: “This opinion is contradictory to the teaching and pastoral practice of the Catholic Church. Whatever the force of certain arguments of a biological and philosophical nature, which have sometimes been used by theologians, in fact both the Magisterium of the Church – in the course of a constant tradition – and the moral sense of the faithful have declared without hesitation that masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act.

The Document specifies the reason behind this judgment: “The main reason is that, whatever the motive for acting this way, the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty. For it lacks the sexual relationship called for by the moral order, namely the relationship which realizes “the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love.” All deliberate exercise of sexuality must be reserved to this regular relationship.” Whatever the value of the arguments to the contrary, the sentence is therefore bases its unfailing motivation on the teaching and tradition of the Church that legitimizes the use of the sexual faculty only in “normal conjugal relations“.

Very interesting is the evaluation of the significance of sociological research on the topic of masturbation, as proposed by the Vatican document: “Sociological surveys are able to show the frequency of this disorder according to the places, populations or circumstances studied. In this way facts are discovered, but facts do not constitute a criterion for judging the moral value of human acts.”

The Congregation in practice only paraphrases a document of Pope Paul VI, “If sociological surveys are useful to know the mentality of the environment and the concerns and needs of those to whom we proclaim the word of God, as well as the resistance that human reason could oppose in the modern age, with the widespread notion that does not exist outside of science, any legitimate form of knowledge, the findings of such investigations could never constitute in themselves a determinant criterion of truth.”(Paolo VI, Esort. apost. Quinque iam anni).

The Congregation goes to the identification of the causes of the frequency of masturbation as follows:

The frequency of the phenomenon in question is certainly to be linked with man’s innate weakness following original sin; but it is also to be linked with the loss of a sense of God, with the corruption of morals engendered by the commercialization of vice, with the unrestrained licentiousness of so many public entertainments and publications, as well as with the neglect of modesty, which is the guardian of chastity.

Then the document mentions the “modern psychology” although it is not clear to what it refers specifically:

On the subject of masturbation modern psychology provides much valid and useful information for formulating a more equitable judgment on moral responsibility and for orienting pastoral action. Psychology helps one to see how the immaturity of adolescence (which can sometimes persist after that age), psychological imbalance or habit can influence behavior, diminishing the deliberate character of the act and bringing about a situation whereby subjectively there may not always be serious fault. But in general, the absence of serious responsibility must not be presumed; this would be to misunderstand people’s moral capacity.”

It follows that masturbation is always objectively a serious fault but not always subjectively and it is for this reason that modern psychology can be useful to discern case by case. Clearly, modern psychology is regarded as legitimate as instrumental and compatible with Catholic morality. The Congregation provides also other criteria that go beyond the “modern psychology”:

In the pastoral ministry, in order to form an adequate judgment in concrete cases, the habitual behavior of people will be considered in its totality, not only with regard to the individual’s practice of charity and of justice but also with regard to the individual’s care in observing the particular precepts of chastity. In particular, one will have to examine whether the individual is using the necessary means, both natural and supernatural, which Christian asceticism from its long experience recommends for overcoming the passions and progressing in virtue.”

But let’s consider only the facts leaving aside moral prejudices.

That masturbation concerns basically all guys in adolescence, this fact is generally known and confirmed by all serious surveys carried out in this field. Masturbation in adolescence is very important:  gradually leads guys to the consciousness of their sexual orientation, determines the sexual archetypes, i.e. physical types of the people who induce a clear sexual response and sexual behaviors that will be considered to be more exciting all life long, creates and stabilizes the association between masturbatory fantasies and physiological reactions of erection and ejaculation.

Induce feelings of guilt related to masturbation in adolescents through moral prejudices means severely and negatively interfere with the maturation of their sexuality and with the formation of their moral sense, pushing them to neurotically react with a completely unnatural rejection of the masturbation, to consider masturbation as a vice which they must try in every way to get rid of, and to build a morality based on repression rather than liberty.

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GAYS BETWEEN PREJUDICE AND RELATIVISM

On April 18, 2005, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, in the Homily for the Mass for the election of the Roman Pontiff that preceded the opening of the conclave in which, the day after, he was elected pope, said:

“Every day new sects spring up, and what St Paul says about human deception and the trickery that strives to entice people into error (cf. Eph 4: 14) comes true.

Today, having a clear faith based on the Creed of the Church is often labeled as fundamentalism. Whereas relativism, that is, letting oneself be “tossed here and there, carried about by every wind of doctrine”, seems the only attitude that can cope with modern times. We are building a dictatorship of relativism that does not recognize anything as definitive and whose ultimate goal consists solely of one’s own ego and desires”.

This sentence opens ideally the pontificate of Benedict XVI in the sign of contrast against relativism. According to the future Pontiff the relativism is “letting oneself be tossed here and there, carried about by every wind of doctrine” and its “ultimate goal consists solely of one’s own ego and desires. “

The positions of the pope on gay rights are well known. I will just mention an article in English, published on the blog Gay Project January 18, 2013 https://gayproject2.wordpress.com/2013/01/18/pope-and-discrimination-of-gays/ .

I don’t enter into the merits of the statements of the pope. I would just like to mention and to develop an Indian legend told by Max Scheler in the first part of “Formalism in ethics and the ethics of material values” an extremely interesting book, published exactly 100 years ago, in 1913, which was intended to clarify what is relativism by treating the matter very seriously. The work is in German, but the Protestant and Jewish cultural influences, perhaps even more than the contents of the book itself, does not make it enjoyable in Catholic circles.

Max Scheler alludes to an Indian legend that I have to expand because it has a considerable explanatory meaning.

Many years ago, in India, a group of blind “wise men” were allowed to approach an elephant and they were told that it was an elephant, each of them touched the elephant only for a few seconds, then they were asked what an elephant was: one said it was a hard object such as marble, because he had only touched a tusk, another said it was like a very big snake capable of writhing in coils, because he had only touched the trunk, and another said it was a big paw.

According to the metaphor it’s obvious that each of the blind “wise men” realized that his point of view was relative and that to better understand what an elephant is it’s necessary to know and understand what others deduced from their own point of view. The truly wise men understand that relativism is not exceeded with the apodictic affirmation of a single point of view but only with a collaborative vision that enriches everyone and allows a better understanding of reality and at least a relative overcoming of the initial relativism. So far Max Scheler and I would say that it is already an illuminating metaphor.

Now let assume that among those blind wise men there was one that had got to stay a long time with other elephants, that certainly would have had a much better knowledge of what an elephant is, certainly a relative knowledge but much less relative than that of those who had could touch the elephant just for a minute, and the wise men, to understand what is really an elephant, would certainly be listening to those who had more experience about elephants.

Obviously if those same blind men were then taken next to a turtle and none of them had ever had contact with other turtles, none of them could have helped “a priori” to understand more and better than others what a turtle really is.

It wouldn’t certainly occur to me, since I’ve never ridden a horse, to explain to an experienced rider which positions are more “natural” to stay in the saddle, because talking about what you do not know means only show your ignorance of that topic, so anyone who is not gay, and does not live being gay from inside, should realize that he has a concept of being gay comparable with the idea of an elephant that can have a blind man who has approached an elephant only for a minute.

Mine is not a defense of relativism and I make explicit reference to Max Scheler if you want to get something serious about these topics.

Strongly assertive and dogmatic positions are supported not by their greater reliability derived from more experience or more rationality but only by a principle of authority. The concepts of “God’s law” or “natural law” are also presumptions, i.e. acts of faith, certainly respectable in themselves, but that in no case can be the basis of visions involving the devaluation of other points of view, or worse the restriction of the freedom of others. This would be like trying to impose the view that the elephant is a huge tusk because one of the blind men, particularly influential, has only touched the tusk (assuming that he has really touched it). If those blind men submit to the authority of one of them, they would not be wise because they would reject the idea of working for a better understanding of the things, that is not compatible with the idea that someone is right by definition. This is not like the Pope says “the dictatorship of relativism” but an elementary principle of common sense for which freedom is not compatible with any ideological dictatorship.

Gay men know the reality of their lives and yet have to see every day, imposed by the violent force of law, as is happening in Russia, or by the abuse of the name of God, as the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church usually do, the points of view of those who does not know what they are talking about.

It is not the relativism reductively understood, according to the words of the Pope, the basis of democracy that must form the foundation of the States, but the principle of mutual respect and collaboration, to guarantee the higher level of awareness for all, assuming that everyone is free to judge as he wants but if the judgment is not based on a real knowledge of the topics but on a mere prejudice, no one can claim in the name of that prejudice to limit the freedom or the rights of others.

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GAY FEELINGS BETWEEN LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

Hello Project,
I don’t know if you remember me, 25 y. o. then, now 26, I give you a clue, we also talked about fencing, I wrote you several months ago when I was affected by a great sense of depression and fear, especially fear because I was getting into trouble but you made ​​me understand it, we talked almost until the morning.

Well, I want to tell you that things have changed and that the cold shower that I got that night was good for me. I abandoned all clubs and dating sites, it was not easy because even if that environment was for me depressing, it was essentially the only outlet for me and actually I was about to enter a real phase of addiction. I started to attend my old friends, all straight but all good guys. I graduated and I also found a job, unfortunately only fixed-term but somehow it’s a job. I had to fabricate an imaginary girl living in another city to ward off the attentions of my co-workers (clearly female co-workers) and especially the gossip, but this is not very important.

I am writing to tell you about another story that has really changed my life. You know that I live in a small village about 30 kilometers from my home town. At that time I still had to make the final exams and to discuss the thesis because I was back to study and I wanted to come to the end as soon as possible. I had an appointment with my teacher at the University to 9.00 in the morning, so I had to leave home at 7.30. I go out, and go by car because of bad weather (October), just after one of the three villages that I have to cross to get to the city it begins to rain heavily, I see a guy on the side of the road without umbrella and looking for a ride, I stop and I do him get in the car. He was hooded and I had barely caught a glimpse of him. He gets in the car all wet and bathes all over the seat, he doesn’t even apologize but immediately asks if I’m going to town, we did not even shook hands, he seems to me quite unkempt, beard of a few days, long hair, nails not very appealing, etc. etc..

During the ride (about 20 minutes) we were in silence without saying a word. When we were close to a porch he asked me to stop and got out of the car, but said nothing. I had to go to the University and it ended there. About a week after, more or less exactly the same thing happens again, this time it pours and we stop for a few minutes to wait for it to pass the time of the most intense rain but almost without saying a word. I just said that in practice I was going to town by car every day at the same time. He didn’t even respond. Then the rain falls and he gets out, but the day after he is in the same place but not hitchhiking, I have the distinct impression that he is there waiting for me.

To reach a minimum of meaningful discourse it took us more than a month but then it happened. We were in the car talking for half an hour. He is 28 years old, I’ll call him Paul, he lives in a village 10 km away from my house, a little village, now he is unemployed because it is very difficult to find a job, to me the matter of work went well but it’s really hard today. In the past worked as an agronomist in a farm. The dialogue with him is very difficult, he tends to see things in a negative way, then at some point the conversation ends, he thanks me in a very ritual way and leaves. In the following days I found him in the same place and at the same time.

And here’s the story of the Sunday. Obviously I do not go to town on Sunday, but a particular Sunday it happened that I had to go and he was there in the same place, even though it was bitterly cold. This time we talked a little more, I asked him what he was doing in the city every day, he said he used to spend the day in a large shopping center because at least it was warm. So he went to town every day, even before we met, and this made me think that maybe he just wanted to get a ride by car, but there is an extra-urban bus line that comes right when I come and I often find the bus just before my car, but he does not take it, perhaps before we met he used to take a bus but now he doesn’t and waits for me. He is not a particularly nice guy and I was not interested from that point of view even if I wanted to understand why this guy was waiting for me in the morning (also on Sunday) just to spend twenty minute with me, if things were really that way.

Project, do not expect sensational endings to this story, at least externally nothing has happened, I know almost nothing about him, he doesn’t tell me and I do not ask questions, but I go out every day to go into town (also on Sundays) in order to spend with him twenty minutes, it is paradoxical, I know. Since he doesn’t even accept my proposal to go to breakfast together. The only change I’ve seen in his habits is a little smile (the smile of someone who is not used to smile). I don’t know what to think about his (and also my) somehow strange behavior, I thought of anything, from the most tragic to the most stupid things but Paul is not superficial. I think he is studying me, I think he’s trying to figure out how deeply I’m interested, probably just as a friend, but the word friend is not reductive. I don’t know if he is gay, I do not know if I would like him to be gay, it’s all so incredibly undefined and yet it is something that intrigues me deeply.

I mean that I expect something from this guy, at least that this friendship will go on like this, that is, that will not end in anything, because for me, little by little, it became important. It was just the fact of thinking continuously of Paul that allowed me to live a real emotional life. Between going to a gay bar and meet people that only are searching for sex from you and thinking constantly of Paul to try to understand a little more about this guy, there is a huge difference, I have the impression that something has been created between us, even though I’m afraid that bring out the speech explicitly can actually make everything collapse.

Between us now there is some hint of a smile and some rare word but very significant and painful, nevertheless I have the impression that things are meaningful and between us there is also an encrypted but very serious dialogue, I do not know yet exactly what is the meaning of our dialog but Paul is now part of my life and I warn very clearly that my life has found its way. I think I’m fond of this guy, I’m fond of (I don’t speak about falling in love) and in the end I do not care whether he’s gay or not, it is as if I felt to be important to him beyond words, it does not matter why I’m important but I realize that I’m really important, I’m not just a piece of the puzzle as I was with other guys, but I’m important as a person.

I realize that what I say is heard and remembered, and that the words he says to me, even if rare, have been planned for a long time because they are especially dedicated to me. If one morning I didn’t find that guy in the same place as usual I would hurt, I would feel abandoned but it never happened and I make sure to never miss to that appointment and then there’s that smile. He may be just a depressed guy who needs a little attention but even this way I would be fine. I know that our silence has a deep meaning and that there is the pleasure of being together twenty minutes a day. For me those twenty minutes set the tone for the day.

Project, I do not deny that I have many doubts and especially I don’t know how to behave because I live in a kind of exhausting waiting for something to happen that never happens and I’m afraid to take the first step. Yet we are not kids, we should have put aside these hesitations now. I do not even know if I feel a sex drive for this guy, certainly for other guys I felt much stronger sexual involvement. He interests me in other respects, more complex and less easy to understand.

Project, I remember when we talked, you were trying to emphasize that the important things come when you least expect them and follow their own logic that has nothing to do with models that everyone can create in his head. I have no plans about this guy, I’m interested in him as a person, I just want to see him smile, maybe even with a girl. He is giving me a lot and I hope I can do the same for him. Project, I’m rediscovering what it means to love someone and it’s something that makes me feel good.
With affection.
Steven

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STATISTICS ON GAY SEXUALITY

I am pleased to announce that now (January 24, 2013) Statistics on gay sexuality by Gay Project are finally available online. The statistics show the status of data at the time of interrogation. Since statistics are mostly about hidden gays, who clearly cannot be reliably detected, it is impossible to create samples that can be said representative in a statistical sense (Gay Project statistics represent the picture of those who have completed the questionnaire), the statistics are nevertheless very important because they are practically the only tool that provides an objective survey of gay sexuality extended to hidden gays.
The service is offered in both Italian and English language.
I invite you to complete and post the questionnaire to contribute to the development of the project (all indications are available on the page linked below):

STATISTICS ON GAY SEXUALITY

Here bellow you can read the complete questionnaire:

1) My age
Use integers only

2) My marital status
I’m single
I’m engaged to a girl
I’m married
I am separate
I’m divorced

3) Sons
No children
I have only one child
I have more than one child

4) Family pressures
My family has never affected me in matters related to my sexuality
I think that my family in the end would let me free to follow my emotional/sexual orientation without major problems
My family expects me to be straight
My family would not accept at all that I was not straight

5) Social expectations
The social context in which I live has virtually no weight on emotional/sexual choices
The social context in which I live I think that in the end would be entirely indifferent to my affective/sexual orientation and I would not cause big problems
The social context in which I live would not accept me easily as gay
In the social context in which I live, as a gay man I would have life impossible

6) Why are you doing this test?
I do the test because I have some doubts about my sexual orientation
I do the test because I’d find confirmation of what I already know in practice on my sexual orientation
I do the test out of curiosity

7) Anxiety and sexual orientation
I’ve never lived with anxiety the issues related to my sexual orientation
At the beginning I lived with anxiety the issues related to my sexual orientation but It doesn’t happen anymore
I still live anxiously the situations related to my sexual orientation
I think that the issues related to my sexual orientation are wrapping me from several points of view

8) Have you done before other tests concerning sexual orientation?
I’ve never done before other tests concerning sexual orientation
I’ve done other tests on sexual orientation but only for fun
I’ve done other tests on sexual orientation and I was not satisfied in the sense that I was not given any definite answer

9) Have you read books or specific articles on sexology or sexual psychology?
I have never read books or specific articles on sexology or sexual psychology
Sometimes I read specific books or articles on sexology or sexual psychology but only out of curiosity
I’d like to read specific books or articles on sexology or sexual psychology but I really don’t have time
I tried to learn seriously reading different specific books or articles on sexology or sexual psychology

10) Have you ever consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality?
I have never consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality but then I gave up because I thought it was not useful
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality but then I gave up because it was too expensive
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality but then I gave up because I did not feel at ease
I have consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality but I haven’t gotten any results
I have consulted a psychologist for reasons related to sexuality and it was definitely useful

11) Have you ever consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality?
I have never consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality but then I gave up because I thought it wasn’t useful
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality but then I gave up because it was too expensive
Once I consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality but then I gave up because I did not feel at ease
I have consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality but I haven’t gotten any results
I have consulted a psychologist for reasons other than sexuality and it was definitely useful

12) How do you perceive your sexual orientation
At the beginning I also had a straight period but now I feel much gay
I’ve always felt gay from the beginning
I’m gay, but sometimes I also feel straight impulses
I’am gay but I’m not sexually indifferent to the girls
I’m bisexual with a high gay prevalence
I’m bisexual with a slight gay predominance
I feel bisexual with no particular orientation gay or straight
I felt fully heterosexual or fully gay depending on the time
I’m bisexual with wit a light straight prevalence
I’m bisexual with a high straight prevalence
I’m straight, but the I’m not sexually indifferent to the guys
I’m straight, but sometimes I also feel gay impulses
I have always felt straight from the beginning
At the beginning I also had a gay phase but now I feel much straight

13) Openly/Hidden
I’m openly gay to everyone
I’m gay but only a few friends and my family know
I’m gay but only know a few friends know but at home no one knows
I’m gay but I act straight with my family
I’m gay but I act straight with everyone
I’m bisexual and everyone knows it
I’m bisexual but only a few friends and my family know
I’m bisexual but I only a few friends know but at home no one knows
I’m bisexual but I act straight with my family
I’m bisexual but I act straight with everyone
I’m straight

14) How other consider you in relation to the sexual orientation
My sexuality is not a mystery to anyone
All consider me 100% straight
I think my sexual orientation doesn’t interest anyone
I’m always on my own and other people don’t deal with me
Maybe others have some doubts about my sexual orientation but don’t talk about
The others have doubts about my sexual orientation but don’t talk about in front of me
I think that others think I’m gay
They think I’m gay, and they tell me it clearly

15) Affective orientation perceived
At first I fell in love with girls but now I tend to fall in love just with guys
I tend to fall in love just with guys
I tend to fall in love only with guys but I think I could fall in love with some girls too
I tend to fall in love only with guys but with some girls I’m just fine
I tend to fall in love almost exclusively with guys but also with some girls
I tend to fall in love with both guys and girls, perhaps more with guys
I tend to fall in love with guys and girls equally.
I tend to fall in love with guys or with girls according to the time
I tend to fall in love with both boys and girls, perhaps more with girls
I tend to fall in love almost exclusively with girls, but also some guys
I tend to fall in love only with girls but I’m just fine with some guys
I tend to fall in love only with girls but I think I could fall in love with some guys
I tend to fall in love only with girls
At first I fell in love with guys but now I tend to fall in love only with girls

16) Couple’s sexuality
I’ve never had sex neither heterosexual nor gay
At the beginning I had sex with girls but now I have relationships only with guys
I’ve only had sex with guys
I have sexual relations only with guys despite some straight fantasies
I have sexual relations only with guys but I’m also attracted to girls
I have sexual relations with guys almost exclusively, but sometimes also with girls
I have sexual relations mostly with guys but also with girls
I have sexual relations with guys and girls equally
I have sexual relations with either boys and girls according to the time
I have sexual relations especially with girls but also with guys
I have sex almost exclusively with girls, but sometimes also with guys
I have sexual relations only with girls but I’m also attracted to the guys
I have sexual relations only with girls despite some gay fantasy
I’ve only had sex with girls
At the beginning I had sex with guys but now I have relationships only with girls

17) My ideal couple’s sexuality
The ideal, for me, would be a stable couple openly publicly declared, marriage style
The ideal for me would be a stable couple declared only to family and close friends
The ideal for me would be a stable couple declared only to close friends
The ideal for me would be a couple with a minimum of flexibility but with a stable emotional relationship
I don’t seek a stable partner, I don’t even think it makes sense to try

18) My possible project of couple’s sexuality
I think for me it is possible to achieve a stable couple openly declared, marriage style
I think for me it is possible to achieve a stable couple declared only to family and close friends
I think for me it is possible to achieve a stable couple declared only to close friends
I think for me it is possible to make a couple with a minimum of flexibility but with a stable emotional relationship
I think for me it is not even possible to have a stable partner and not even tried to find

19) Orientation of masturbation
At the beginning I masturbated with straight fantasies but now I only do it with gay fantasies
I masturbate only with gay fantasies
I masturbate only with gay fantasies, sometimes I even have heterosexual fantasies but not connected with masturbation
I masturbate with gay fantasies but I think I could do it even thinking about some girls
I masturbate almost exclusively with gay fantasies, but very rarely also thinking about some girls
I masturbate mostly with gay fantasies but sometimes thinking about girls
I masturbate thinking is either the boys and the girls
I masturbate thinking about boys or girls depending on the time
I masturbate mostly with heterosexual fantasies but sometimes also thinking about guys
I masturbate almost exclusively with heterosexual fantasies, but very rarely also thinking about some guys
I masturbate with straight fantasies but I think I could do it even thinking about some guys
I masturbate only with heterosexual fantasies, sometimes I also have gay fantasies but not connected with masturbation
I masturbate only with heterosexual fantasies
At the beginning I masturbated with gay fantasies but now I do it only with heterosexual fantasies

20) Variability of masturbatory fantasies
My masturbatory fantasies are almost always the same
My masturbatory fantasies seldom change
My masturbatory fantasies are highly variable

21) Use of pornography
I never use pornography
Sometimes I go on straight porn sites t but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go on gay porn sites but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go on porn sites both straight and gay, but only out of curiosity
I use mostly straight porn sites to masturbate, I do it often, but I don’t feel affected
I use mainly gay porn sites to masturbate, I do it often, but I don’t feel affected
I use porn sites both straight and gay to masturbate, I do it often, but I don’t feel affected
I use only straight porn sites to masturbate, I do it often, but I don’t feel affected
I use only gay porn sites to masturbate, I do it often, but I don’t feel affected
I’m partially heterosexual pornography addict, I’m on all the time I can
I’m partially gay pornography addict, I’m on all the time I can
I’m partially both straight and gay pornography addict, I’m on all the time I can
Straight pornography for me is a kind of obsession, practically all my time on the internet is dedicated to straight porn sites and I cannot help it
The gay pornography for me is a kind of obsession, practically all my time on the internet is dedicated to gay porn sites and I cannot help it
All pornography both straight and gay for me is a kind of obsession, practically all my time on the internet is dedicated to porn sites and I cannot help it

22) Why I use pornography
I don’t use pornography
I use of pornography because I can’t freely express my sexuality and pornography is practically the only sexual outlet I have
Concrete occasions of sexual involvement in every’s life are few and pornography helps to live at least a virtual sexuality
I might as well do without it but I don’t see why I should, since if you do it with intelligence it doesn’t harm

23) How often do you masturbate using pornography?
I never masturbate using pornography
From 0% to 10%
From 10% to 20%
From 20% to 30%
From 30% to 40%
From 40% to 50%
From 50% to 60%
From 60% to 70%
From 70% to 80%
From 80% to 90%
From 90% to 100%

24) Have you ever gone on a pay porn site?
I’ve never been on a pay porn site
I went on a pay porn site only once
I went on a pay porn site from 2 to 5 times
I went on a pay porn site from 6 to 10 times
I went on a pay porn site more than 10 times
I often go on pay porn sites

25) How many porn sites do you visit regularly?
Usually I don’t visit porn sites
Usually I visit a single porn site
Usually I visit from 2 to 5 porn sites
Usually I visit from 6 to 10 porn sites
Usually I visit more than 10 porn sites

26) Sexual interest polarization
My sexual fantasies focus on a single person who has strong emotional meaning for me
My sexual fantasies focus on two people who have strong emotional meaning for me
My sexual fantasies focus on a small group of people who have strong emotional meaning for me
My sexual fantasies focus especially on people whom I know and attract me sexually
My sexual fantasies are mainly focused on episodes particularly exciting in terms of sex that I happen to live day by day
My sexual fantasies are mainly focused on past memories very exciting in terms of sex
My sexual fantasies are derived mainly from pornography

27) Frequency of masturbation and emotional state
The frequency of my masturbation is practically constant
The frequency of my masturbation tends to increase when I fall in love and to decrease when I’m depressed
The frequency of my masturbation tends to increase when I’m depressed and to decrease when I fall in love

28) What I think about masturbation
I consider masturbation something completely natural
I consider masturbation like a behavior that should go away if you really fall in love
I consider masturbation as a fact that eventually is accepted but is morally reprehensible because in fact exploits the image of another person
I consider masturbation a vice from which you should release because sexuality is a serious thing

29) Masturbation and affection
I consider masturbation and emotions are closely linked and when you fall in love you live in a different way
I think that masturbation and affection are two things that may also have something in common but generally masturbation is just a physiological outlet
I think that masturbation and emotions have nothing in common

30) How do I consider sexuality lived as a couple
I think that the couple’s sexuality is a manner to express love
I think that couple’s sexuality should be a manner to express love but in the end it trivializes the whole
I think that couple’s sexuality is still accepted but is morally wrong because in fact exploits another person for selfish

31) Attraction to the nakedness
I’ve never watched the nakedness of anyone, neither guy nor girl
I watched the nakedness of unaware girls
I watched the nakedness of other unaware guys
I watched the nakedness both of unaware other guys and of unaware girls

32) Causing sexually embarrassing situations
I’ve never done in a way that neither boys nor girls find themselves in sexually embarrassing situations
I acted in order to put other guys in sexually embarrassing situations
I acted in order to put girls in sexually embarrassing situations
I acted in order to put both other guys and girls in sexually embarrassing situations

33) Reactions in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms)
I’ve never been in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness
I made sure that I am not ever in a situation of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms)
When I’m in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms), I feel embarrassment and try to be there for the shortest time possible
I like being in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms) but I try in every way to control my erection that is almost unavoidable
I like being in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms) but I try in every way to control my erection that is almost inevitable if there is any guy that interests me
I’m comfortable in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms) and if you get an erection in the end nothing happens
I’m comfortable in situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms), I’m used to and I’m not any more effect
The situations of collective non-sexual nakedness (locker rooms), are for me totally indifferent

34) Heavy sex jokes made in group to other guys (e.g. forced stripping)
I never happened to be present at a heavy sex joke made in group to another guy (e.g. forced stripping)
When I happen to be present at a heavy sex joke made in group to another guy (e.g. forced stripping) I feel embarrassment
When I happen to be present at a heavy sex joke made in group to another guy (e.g. forced stripping) I get excited but I do not take part in the thing
When I happen to be present at a heavy sex joke made in group to another guy (e.g. forced stripping) I take part easily because, it’s just a joke
When I happen to be present at a heavy sex joke made in group to another guy (e.g. forced stripping) I take part easily because it is a sexual game and I like such tings

35) Do you talk about your sexuality with your friends?
My friends and I never talk about my sexuality
With my friends I act 100% straight
With my friends I try to avoid the subject and I don’t say to be gay but not even to be straight
My friends and I talk quietly about my sexuality

36) Do you go to sex chats?
I never go to sex chats
Sometimes I go to straight sex chats but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go to gay sex chats but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go both to straight and gay sex chats but just out of curiosity
I happened sometimes to go to straight sex chats because I was trying to contact girls but I never contacted any girl in person among those I met in sex chats
I happened sometimes to go to gay sex chats because I was trying to contact guys but I never contacted any guy in person among those I met in sex chats
I happened sometimes to go to straight sex chats because I was trying to contact girls and then I met in person some of those girls
I happened to go in sometimes to gay sex chats because I was trying to contact gays and then I met personally some of those guys
I happened several times to go to straight sex chats because I was trying to contact girls but I never met any girl in person among those I met in sex chats
I happened several times to go to gay sex chats because I was trying to contact guys but I never met any guy in person among those I met in sex chats
I happened several times to go to straight sex chats because I was trying to contact girls and then I met in person many of those girls
I happened several times to go to gay sex chats because I was trying to contact gays and then I met in person many of those guys
I regularly go to straight sex chats and I know this way many girls in person
I regularly go to gay sex chats and I meet this way many guys in person

37) Do you go to dating sites?
I never go to dating sites
Sometimes I go to straight dating sites but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go to gay dating sites but just out of curiosity
Sometimes I go to dating sites both straight and gay, but only out of curiosity
I happened to attend sometimes straight dating sites because I was trying to contact girl but I never met any girl in person among those I met in dating sites
I happened to go sometimes to gay dating sites because I was trying to contact gays but I never met any guy in person among those I met in dating sites
I happened to attend sometimes to straight dating sites because I was trying to contact girls and then I met in person some of those girls
I happened to go sometimes to gay dating sites because I was trying to contact gays and then I met in person some of those guys
I happened several times to go to straight dating sites because I was trying to contact girls but I never met any girl in person among those I met in dating sites
I happened several times to go to gay dating sites because I was trying to contact gays but I never met any guy in person among those I met in dating sites
I happened several times to go to straight dating sites because I was trying to contact girls and then I met in person many of those girls
I happened several times to go to gay dating sites because I was trying to contact guys and then I met in person many of those guys
I regularly dating sites straight and I know so many girls in person
I regularly go to gay dating sites and I meet this way many guys in person

38) Have you ever been in a place openly gay?
I’ve never been in a place openly gay
Sometimes I was in a local openly gay but just out of curiosity
I happened sometimes to go to a local openly gay because I go there with friends
I happened sometimes to go to a local openly gay because I was trying to contact guys
I went several times to a local openly gay because I go there with friends
regularly go to the gay locals

39) Straight falling in love and masturbation
I’ve never been in love with a girl
When I fall in love with a girl I avoid masturbating
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate thinking about her but after I have feelings of guilt
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate quietly thinking about her
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate thinking also about other girls but then I feel guilty because I seem to betray
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate thinking also about some guy but after I feel guilty because I seem to betray
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate quietly even thinking about other girls
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate quietly even thinking about some guy
When I fall in love with a girl I masturbate just thinking about other girls, if I did thinking about her I’d feel guilty

40) Gay falling in love and masturbation
I’ve never been in love with a guy
When I fall in love with a guy I avoid masturbating
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate thinking about him but then I feel guilty
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate thinking quietly about him
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate thinking also to other guys but then I feel guilty because it seems to me to betray him
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate also thinking about some girls but after I feel guilty because it seems to me to betray him
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate quietly even thinking about other guys
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate quietly even thinking about some girls
When I fall in love with a guy I masturbate just thinking the other guys, if I did thinking about hit I’d feel guilty

41) Falling in love, sex chat and dating sites
When I fall in love I don’t go to sex chats and dating sites
When I fall in love I try to avoid sex chats and dating sites but don’t always succeed
When I fall in love I continue to go to sex chats and dating sites
I never go to sex chats and dating sites

42) Falling in love and pornography
When I fall in love I don’t need porn sites to masturbate
When I fall in love I try not to go to porn sites to masturbate but sometimes it happens
When I fall in love easily go on watching porn sites to masturbate
I never use pornography

43) Your first memories of episodes that had some sexual coloring for you
The first memories I have of episodes that had some sexual coloring are lost in the past, are distant and irrelevant in practice
The first memories I have of episodes that had some sexual coloring, for me, are not pretty
The first memories I have of episodes that had some sexual coloring, for me, are pleasant

44) The first episodes of your life that had some sexual coloring
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were about gays younger than me
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring concerned girls younger than me
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were about gays almost my age
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring concerned girls almost my age
The first episodes of my life that had had some sexual coloring concerned guys older than me
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring concerned girls older than me
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring concerned adult men
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring concerned adult women
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring were related to groups of only guys almost the my age
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring were related to groups of only girls almost the my age
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were related yo mixed groups of guys and girls almost my age
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring were related to groups of only guys older than me
The first episodes of my life that had some sexual coloring were related to groups of only girls older than me
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were related to mixed groups of guys and girls older than me

45) The first episodes of your life that had any sexual coloring
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were homosexual
The first episodes of my life that had any sexual coloring were heterosexual

46) At what age did you discover masturbation?
Answer an integer

47) How did you discover masturbation?
I discovered masturbation alone
I discovered masturbation by speeches of friends
I discovered masturbation with another guy
I discovered masturbation with a girl
I discovered masturbation through masturbation in common with friends
I discovered masturbation through pornography

48) How did you react to the discovery of masturbation?
After the discovery of masturbation I felt panic
After the discovery of masturbation I felt uncertainty
After the discovery of masturbation I tried to suppress it
After the discovery of masturbation, I found it immediately attractive but I lived it with guilt
After the discovery of masturbation I had no problem and I lived very quietly from the beginning

49) The fantasies of your first masturbations
The fantasies of my first masturbations were straight
The fantasies of my first masturbations were gay
The fantasies of my first masturbations were mostly straight
The fantasies of my first masturbations were mostly gay
The fantasies of my first masturbations were both straight and gay

50) Whom were your first masturbations dedicated to?
My first masturbations were always dedicated to guys I had met in real life
My first masturbations were always dedicated to girls I had met in real life
My first masturbations were always dedicated to guys I had seen by accident
My first masturbations were always dedicated to girls I had seen by chance
My first masturbations were always or almost dedicated to pictures of guys coming from pornography and sometimes to guys I had met in real life
My first masturbations were always or almost dedicated to pictures of girls coming from pornography and sometimes to girls I had met in real life
My first masturbations were dedicated both to guys and girls but mostly to guys
My first masturbations were dedicated both to guys and girls but mostly to girls
My first masturbations were dedicated both to guys and girls much or less the same way

51) After the discovery of masturbation did you talk anyone?
After the discovery of masturbation I did not talk about to anyone
After the discovery of masturbation I talked about with my parents
After the discovery of masturbation I talked about with a priest
After the discovery of masturbation I talked about with a psychologist
After the discovery of masturbation I talked about with some older friends
After the discovery of masturbation I talked about with some friends my age

52) At what age did you have your first contact with pornography?
Answer using an integer

53) How did you come to pornography?
I have never come to pornography
I have come to pornography to mimic the behavior of friends
I have come to pornography on the suggestion of friends
I have come to pornography just out of spontaneous curiosity

54) How did you react to the discovery of pornography?
After the discovery of pornography I reacted with excitement
After the discovery of pornography I reacted with feelings of guilt
After the discovery of pornography I reacted with uncertainty
After the discovery of pornography I reacted by trying to avoid it
After the discovery of pornography I found it interesting from the beginning but I was living it with guilt
After the discovery of pornography I had no problem at all and I used it very quietly from the beginning

55) Have you ever told anyone that you were using pornography?
I’ve never told anyone that I was using pornography
I told my parents that I was using pornography
I told a priest that I was using pornography
I told a psychologist that I was using pornography
I told friends older than me that I was using pornography
I told friends my age that I was using pornography
I never used pornography

56) At what age did you first had sexual contact with another person?
Reply 0 if it never happened

57) Who was the person with whom you had the first sexual contact?
I never had sexual contacts
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was a guy younger than me
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was a guy my age or so
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was a guy older than me
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was an adult man
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was a girl younger than me
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was a girl my age or so
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was an girl older than me
The person with whom I had my first sexual contact was an adult woman

58) How did you get to have the first sexual contact with another person?
I got to have my first sexual contact in a situation that was as a game
I got to have my first sexual contact in a situation that was to me a strong sexual interest
I got to have my first sexual contact in a situations of physical or psychological coercion
I have never had sexual contact

59) Your first sexual contacts were completely episodic or were repeated?
My first sexual contact was entirely episodic, it happened only once
I would say that my first sexual contacts were sporadic, they only happened a few times
My first sexual contacts for a while have become a habit
I never had sexual contacts

60) Satisfaction of your first sexual contact
I really liked my first sexual contact
My first sexual contacts were like a game or so to me
I didn’t really like my first sexual contacts but I didn’t even feel unpleasant
As for my first sexual contacts, I was not displeased but I felt guilty, I said earlier to reject them but then I ended up accepting
I never had sexual contacts

61) Evolution of masturbatory sexuality
My masturbatory fantasies were and still are always gay
My masturbatory fantasies were and still are always straight
My masturbatory fantasies tend to become progressively more gay
My masturbatory fantasies tend to become progressively more straight
My masturbatory fantasies have always been more or less variable

62) How did you meet your current partner or your last partner?
I’ve never had couple’s partners
I met my current partner (or my last partner) at school
I met my current partner (or my last partner) at the university
I met my current partner (or my last partner) at work
I met my current partner (or my last partner) through friends
I met my current partner (or my last partner) via dating sites
I met my current partner (or my last partner) through erotic chats
I met my current partner (or my last partner) attending locals
I met my current partner (or my last partner) randomly through the internet

63) How many guys have you had sexual contact with during your life?
Indicate 0 if it never happened

64) How many girls have you had sexual contact with during your life?
Indicate 0 if it never happened

65) On average, how long endured your straight relationships? Indicate an average in months
Indicate 0 if it never happened

66) On average, how long endured your gay relationships? Indicate an average in months
Indicate 0 if it never happened

67) How did you behave when you weren’t engaged?
When I wasn’t engaged I tried to find a girl
When I wasn’t engaged I tried to find a guy
When I wasn’t engaged I didn’t try to find neither boys nor girls
When I wasn’t engaged I tried to find both boys and girls

POPE AND DISCRIMINATION OF GAYS

Both in Italy and in France is in full swing for some time now the discussion on the recognition of unions between homosexual persons. About the intervention of the Pope in this regard, on the International Day of Peace, Gay Project has already expressed its point of view with the article “THE POPE AND THE GAY MARRIAGE“,

We find it useful to present here some official positions of the European Community and of the Catholic Church, expressed in official documents accessible to anyone. Precisely in order to avoid distorsive readings, we add all links to all the official mentioned documents.

CHARTER OF FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION

Article 21 – Non-discrimination
1. Any discrimination based on any ground such as sex, race, color, ethnic or social origin, genetic features, language, religion or belief, political or any other opinion, membership of a national minority, property, birth, disability, age or sexual orientation shall be prohibited.
______

The Council of Europe is an international organization whose purpose is to promote democracy, human rights, the European cultural identity and the search for solutions to social problems in Europe. The Council of Europe was founded on May 5, 1949, with the Treaty of London and now has 47 member States.

The institutional seat is in Strasbourg, France. The main instrument of action of the Council of Europe is to develop and promote the conclusion of international agreements or conventions between member States, and often also with other States. The initiatives of the Council of Europe are not binding and must be ratified by the member States. The Council of Europe is an organization in itself, distinct from the European Union.

Has provoked embarrassment to the Council of Europe the recommendation addressed from the apostolic nuncio in Paris, Luigi Ventura, to the Members of the EPP (European Popular Party) to request changes to the draft resolution on sexual discrimination that was going to vote on Jan. 27, 2010. The Socialist MP Luxembourg Lydie Err has labeled as “outrageous and unacceptable” the intervention of the Vatican on the debate in the Council of Europe regarding sex discrimination and homosexual unions. Lydie Err said that the Catholic Church has sent a letter to the members of the EPP Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe to “suggest” to vote for amendments that “distort” the document. The current version of the draft resolution requests, among other things, to ensure the legal recognition to same-sex couples. “I’m amazed – said the Swiss Socialist, Andreas Gross, author of the report on discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation and gender difference and of the corresponding motion for a resolution – I’m amazed that so many amendments have been submitted to the committee since the report had been adopted without objection and with only a few abstentions.” The letter of the nuncio, which could be, perhaps, the result of personal initiative, is dated January 8 but was not announced until Jan. 27, the day on which the meeting was to vote on the draft resolution Gross.

The event has received extensive coverage in the newspapers and this afternoon have appeared on various blogs articles attacking the proposals of Andreas Gross, but avoiding making explicit reference to the document criticized. For the sake of clarity I will at least quote here the summary of the proposal.
___________

“Summary
The Committee on Legal Affairs and Human Rights points out that sexual orientation – be it heterosexuality, bisexuality or homosexuality – is a profound part of the identity of each one of us. Under international law nobody should be treated differently because of their sexual orientation. Yet lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people across Europe still face deep-rooted prejudice and widespread discrimination. This can range from physical violence – including, in the worst cases, killings – through to hate crimes, gags on expression, bans on demonstrations, state intrusion into private life and unfair treatment at school or in the workplace.

Transgender people are refused gender reassignment treatment or told they cannot register their new gender, contributing to high rates of suicide in this group.

These human rights violations must end, as well as incitement to commit them from public figures, according to the committee. Meanwhile, Council of Europe member states should ensure legal recognition of same-sex partnerships, providing notably for “next of kin” status and the possibility to jointly parent each other’s children, if not also the right of each partner to adopt the other partner’s children.

Dialogue between all bodies, based on mutual respect, is essential in order to improve mutual understanding, combat attitudes of prejudice and facilitate public debates and reforms on issues concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.”
__________

I quote here bellow the fundamental Resolution of the European Parliament on the fight against homophobia in Europe:

European Parliament resolution of 24 May 2012 on the fight against homophobia in Europe

(2012/2657(RSP))

The European Parliament,
– having regard to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, the Convention on the Rights of the Child, and the Convention for the Protection of Human Rights and Fundamental Freedoms,
– having regard to Articles 2, 3(5), 6, 7, 21 and 27 of the Treaty on European Union, Articles 10 and 19 of the Treaty on the Functioning of the European Union, and the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights,
– having regard to the Toolkit to Promote and Protect the Enjoyment of all Human Rights by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) People adopted by the Working Party on Human Rights of the Council of the European Union,
– having regard to Council of Europe Parliamentary Assembly resolution 1728 of 29 April 2010 on discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, and the Committee of Ministers‘ recommendation CM/Rec(2010)5 of 31 March 2010 on measures to combat discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity,
– having regard to the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights report of November 2010 on Homophobia, transphobia and discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity,
– having regard to its previous resolution of 18 April 2012 on human rights in the world and the European Union’s policy on the matter, including implications for the EU’s strategic human rights policy(1) ,
– having regard to its previous resolution of 14 December 2011 on the upcoming EU-Russia Summit(2) ,
– having regard to its previous resolution of 28 September 2011 on human rights, sexual orientation and gender identity at the United Nations(3) ,
– having regard to its previous resolution of 19 January 2011 on the violation of freedom of expression and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in Lithuania(4) ,
– having regard to its previous resolution of 17 September 2009 on the Lithuanian Law on the Protection of Minors against the Detrimental Effects of Public Information(5) ,
– having regard to its previous resolutions on homophobia, and in particular those of 26 April 2007 on homophobia in Europe(6) , of 15 June 2006 on the increase in racist and homophobic violence in Europe(7) , and of 18 January 2006 on homophobia in Europe(8) ,
– having regard to Rule 110(2) and (4) of its Rules of Procedure,

A. whereas the European Union is founded on the values of respect for human dignity, freedom, democracy, equality, the rule of law and respect for human rights, including the rights of persons belonging to minorities, and must uphold and promote these values in its relations with the wider world;
B. whereas homophobia is the irrational fear of, and aversion to, male and female homosexuality and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people based on prejudice, and is similar to racism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism and sexism, and whereas it manifests itself in the private and public spheres in different forms, such as hate speech and incitement to discrimination, ridicule and verbal, psychological and physical violence, persecution and murder, discrimination in violation of the principle of equality and unjustified and unreasonable limitations of rights, which are often hidden behind justifications based on public order, religious freedom and the right to conscientious objection;
C. whereas, in Russia, criminal and administrative laws against the ‘propaganda of homosexuality’ were enacted in the regions of Ryazan in 2006, Arkhangelsk in 2011, and Kostroma and Saint Petersburg in 2012, and the regions of Novosibirsk, Samara, Kirov, Krasnoyarsk and Kaliningrad are currently considering such laws; whereas these laws provide for various fines of up to EUR 1270 for individuals and up to EUR 12 700 for associations and companies, and whereas the State Duma is considering a similar law;
D. whereas, in Ukraine, the Parliament is examining two draft laws put forward in 2011 and 2012 which would make it an offence to ‘spread homosexuality’, including by ‘holding meetings, parades, actions, demonstrations and mass events aiming at intentional distribution of any positive information about homosexuality’ and provide for fines and up to five years‘ imprisonment, and whereas the Committee on Freedom of Expression and Information of the Ukraine Parliament supports these bills;
E. whereas, in Moldova, the cities of Bălți, Sorochi, Drochia, Cahul, Ceadîr Lunga and Hiliuţi, as well as the Anenii Noi and Basarabeasca districts, recently adopted laws to prohibit the ‘aggressive propaganda of non-traditional sexual orientations’ and, in one case, ‘Muslim activity’, and whereas such measures have already been declared unconstitutional by the Chancellery of State in the case of Chetriş;
F. whereas, in Lithuania, it remains legally unclear whether public information may or may not promote acceptance of homosexuality further to the Law on the Protection of Minors against the Detrimental Effects of Public Information, as amended in 2010;
G. whereas, in Latvia, a member of the Riga City Council recently tabled a bill to prohibit the ‘propaganda of homosexuality’ with the aim of preventing the Baltic Pride March 2012 from taking place, and whereas this proposal has not yet been examined;
H. whereas, in Hungary, the far-Right Jobbik party recently tabled several bills to create a new crime of =propagation of disorders of sexual behavior”, and a local ordinance was tabled in the Budapest City Council by Fidesz to ‘limit obscene marches’ ahead of the Budapest Gay Pride, and whereas these proposals were subsequently dropped;
I. whereas the EU Delegation to Moldova has expressed ‘deep regret and concern’ about ‘these manifestations of intolerance and discrimination’;
J. whereas the Commission has declared its commitment to ensuring respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms in the EU and has stated that homophobia has no place in Europe;
K. whereas homophobia continues to manifest itself, in Member States and third countries, in such forms as murders, banned gay prides and equality marches, public use of inflammatory, threatening and hateful language, police failure to provide adequate protection, and authorized violent demonstrations by homophobic groups;
L. whereas the European Parliament remains committed to equality and non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in the EU and, in particular, to the adoption of the Council Directive on implementing the principle of equal treatment between persons irrespective of religion or belief, disability, age or sexual orientation, which has been blocked due to the objections of some Member States; to upcoming proposals for the mutual recognition of the effects of civil status documents; to the upcoming revision of the Framework Decision on Racism and Xenophobia to include homophobic crime; and to a comprehensive roadmap for equality without discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity;

Situation in the European Union
1. Strongly condemns any discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, and strongly regrets that, in the European Union, the fundamental rights of LGBT people are not yet always fully upheld; calls, therefore, on Member States to ensure that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are protected from homophobic hate speech and violence, and ensure that same-sex partners enjoy the same respect, dignity and protection as the rest of society; urges Member States and the Commission to firmly condemn homophobic hate speech or incitement to hatred and violence, and to ensure that freedom of demonstration – as guaranteed by all human rights treaties – is respected in practice;
2. Calls on the Commission to review the Framework Decision on Racism and Xenophobia with a view to strengthening and enlarging its scope to include hate crimes based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression;
3. Calls on the Commission to ensure that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is prohibited in all sectors by completing the anti-discrimination package based on Article 19 of the Treaty on the Functioning of the European Union;
4. Calls on the Commission and the Member States to ensure that Directive 2004/38/EC on free movement is implemented without any discrimination based on sexual orientation, and calls on the Commission to propose measures to mutually recognize the effects of civil status documents on the basis of the principle of mutual recognition;
5. Draws attention to the findings of the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights in its report ‘Homophobia, transphobia and discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity’; calls on the Commission and Member States to implement the opinions contained therein to the greatest possible extent;
6. Calls on the Commission to carefully examine the future results of the Agency for Fundamental Rights‘ European LGBT Survey, and take appropriate action;
7. Calls on the Commission to ensure that the annual report on the application of the Charter of fundamental rights includes a strategy to strengthen the protection of fundamental rights in the EU, including full and comprehensive information on the incidence of homophobia in Member States and proposed solutions and actions to overcome it;
8. Reiterates its request that the Commission produce a comprehensive roadmap for equality without discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation or gender identity;
9. Considers that LGBT people’s fundamental rights are more likely to be safeguarded if they have access to legal institutions such as cohabitation, registered partnership or marriage; welcomes the fact that 16 Member States currently offer these options, and calls on other Member States to consider doing so;
Homophobic laws and freedom of expression in Europe
10. Is gravely concerned by developments which restrict freedom of expression and assembly on the basis of misconceptions about homosexuality and transgenderism; considers that EU Member States should be exemplary in the application and protection of fundamental rights in Europe;
11. Regrets that laws of this kind are already used to arrest and fine citizens, including heterosexual citizens, who express support for, or tolerance or acceptance of, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people; also regrets that these laws legitimize homophobia and, sometimes, violence, as in the case of the violent attack on a bus carrying LGBT activists on 17 May 2012 in Saint Petersburg;
12. Condemns the violence and threats surrounding Kiev Pride event on 20 May 2012, at which two gay pride leaders were beaten up, which resulted in the parade being cancelled; recalls that EU agreements are conditional on respect for fundamental rights, as laid down in the Treaties, and therefore calls on Ukraine to introduce legislation to prohibit discrimination, including discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation; is of the opinion that current developments in Ukraine are inconsistent with this requirement; calls on the Ukrainian authorities to immediately revoke the relevant draft laws, propose legislation to prohibit discrimination – including discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation – and commit to making a safe Kiev Pride event possible next year;
13. Underlines the fact that the term ‘propaganda’ is rarely defined; is dismayed that media outlets have demonstrably censored themselves, citizens are intimidated and fear expressing their opinions, and associations and companies using gay-friendly insignia, such as rainbows, may be prosecuted;
14. Highlights the fact that these laws and proposals are inconsistent with the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, which precludes discriminatory laws and practices(9) based on sexual orientation, and to which Russia, Ukraine, Moldova and all EU Member States are parties; calls on the Council of Europe to investigate these human rights violations, verify their compatibility with the commitments linked to Council of Europe membership and the European Convention on Human Rights, and take appropriate measures;
15. Furthermore, highlights that education is key and therefore expresses the need for good, accessible and respectful sexual education; urges Member States and the Commission to step up the fight against homophobia through education as well as through administrative, judicial and legislative means;
16. Finally, stresses that national and international courts have consistently affirmed that public morality concerns do not justify differential treatment, including in relation to freedom of expression; points to the vast majority of countries in Europe that do not have such laws, and have thriving, diverse and mutually respectful societies;
17. Calls on the relevant authorities in Russia, Ukraine, Moldova and all EU Member States to demonstrate, and ensure respect for, the principle of non-discrimination and to reconsider these laws and proposals in light of international human rights law and their commitments thereunder;
18. Calls on the Commission, the Council and the External Action Service to take note of these bans and condemn them, particularly in the context of home affairs, bilateral dialogue, and the European Neighbourhood Policy; further calls on the Council of the European Union and the External Action Service to raise this issue in the relevant international fora, such as the Council of Europe, the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe, and the United Nations;
19. Instructs its President to forward this resolution to the European Commission, the Council of the European Union, the High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security/Vice-President of the Commission, the governments and parliaments of Member States, the national governments and parliaments of Russia and Ukraine, the regional parliaments of Russia cited herein, and the Moldovan local councils cited herein.
(1) Texts adopted, P7_TA(2012)0126.
(2)Texts adopted, P7_TA(2011)0575.
(3)Texts adopted, P7_TA(2011)0427.
(4)OJ C 136 E, 11.5.2012, p. 50.
(5)OJ C224 E,19.8.2010, p. 18.
(6)OJ C 74 E,20.3.2008, p. 776.
(7)OJ C 300 E,9.12.2006, p. 491.
(8)OJ C 287 E, 24.11.2006, p.179.
(9)Toonen v. Australia , Communication No. 488/§992, UN Doc. CCPR/C/50/D/488/1992 (1994); Young v. Australia , Communication No. 941/2000, UN Doc. CCPR/C/78/D/941/2000 (2003); X v. Columbia , Communication No. 1361/2005, UN Doc. CCPR/C/89/D/1361/2005 (2007)
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In the face of these documents that show unequivocally that discrimination against homosexuals is considered odious and intolerable by the European Union institutions, the Catholic Church continually reiterates that discrimination is instead a moral duty to defend society against homosexuals. The current pope, Benedict XVI, had already expressed very clearly his thoughts in two documents:

1) Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith: “Some considerations concerning the response to legislative proposals on the non-discrimination of the homosexuals persons” (Joseph Ratzinger – July 24, 1992)

2) Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith: “Considerations regarding proposals to give legal recognition to unions between homosexual persons” (Joseph Ratzinger – June 3, 2003)
http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congr … ns_en.html

I quote here bellow some excerpts from the first document:

“It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action … But the proper reaction to crimes committed against homosexual persons should not be to claim that the homosexual condition is not disordered. When such a claim is made and when homosexual activity is consequently condoned, or when civil legislation is introduced to protect behavior to which no one has any conceivable right, neither the Church nor society at large should be surprised when other distorted notions and practices gain ground, and irrational and violent reactions increase.”

According to the Pope if against homosexuals trigger violent reactions are the same homosexuals who are responsible for.

“14. The sexual orientation of a person is not comparable to race, sex, age, etc. also for another reason than that given above which warrants attention. An individual’s sexual orientation is generally not known to others unless he publicly identifies himself as having this orientation or unless some overt behavior manifests it. As a rule, the majority of homosexually oriented persons who seek to lead chaste lives do not publicize their sexual orientation. Hence the problem of discrimination in terms of employment, housing, etc., does not usually arise.

Homosexual persons who assert their homosexuality tend to be precisely those who judge homosexual behavior or lifestyle to be “either completely harmless, if not an entirely good thing” (cf. no. 3), and hence worthy of public approval. It is from this quarter that one is more likely to find those who seek to “manipulate the Church by gaining the often well-intentioned support of her pastors with a view to changing civil statutes and laws” (cf. no. 5), those who use the tactic of protesting that “any and all criticism of or reservations about homosexual people… are simply diverse forms of unjust discrimination” (cf. no. 9).

In addition, there is a danger that legislation which would make homosexuality a basis for entitlements could actually encourage a person with a homosexual orientation to declare his homosexuality or even to seek a partner in order to exploit the provisions of the law.

15. Since in the assessment of proposed legislation uppermost concern should be given to the responsibility to defend and promote family life (cf. no. 17), strict attention should be paid to the single provisions of proposed measures. How would they affect adoption or foster care? Would they protect homosexual acts, public or private? Do they confer equivalent family status on homosexual unions, for example, in respect to public housing or by entitling the homosexual partner to the privileges of employment which could include such things as “family” participation in the health benefits given to employees (cf. no. 9)?

16. Finally, where a matter of the common good is concerned, it is inappropriate for Church authorities to endorse or remain neutral toward adverse legislation even if it grants exceptions to Church organizations and institutions. The Church has the responsibility to promote family life and the public morality of the entire civil society on the basis of fundamental moral values, not simply to protect herself from the application of harmful laws (cf. no. 17).”

I quote here bellow some excerpts from the second document:

“4. There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family. Marriage is holy, while homosexual acts go against the natural moral law. Homosexual acts “close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved”.

Sacred Scripture condemns homosexual acts “as a serious depravity… (cf. Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor6:10; 1 Tim 1:10). This judgment of Scripture does not of course permit us to conclude that all those who suffer from this anomaly are personally responsible for it, but it does attest to the fact that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered”. This same moral judgment is found in many Christian writers of the first centuries and is unanimously accepted by Catholic Tradition.”

“5. Faced with the fact of homosexual unions, civil authorities adopt different positions. At times they simply tolerate the phenomenon; at other times they advocate legal recognition of such unions, under the pretext of avoiding, with regard to certain rights, discrimination against persons who live with someone of the same sex. In other cases, they favor giving homosexual unions legal equivalence to marriage properly so-called, along with the legal possibility of adopting children.

Where the government’s policy is de facto tolerance and there is no explicit legal recognition of homosexual unions, it is necessary to distinguish carefully the various aspects of the problem. Moral conscience requires that, in every occasion, Christians give witness to the whole moral truth, which is contradicted both by approval of homosexual acts and unjust discrimination against homosexual persons. Therefore, discreet and prudent actions can be effective; these might involve: unmasking the way in which such tolerance might be exploited or used in the service of ideology; stating clearly the immoral nature of these unions; reminding the government of the need to contain the phenomenon within certain limits so as to safeguard public morality and, above all, to avoid exposing young people to erroneous ideas about sexuality and marriage that would deprive them of their necessary defenses and contribute to the spread of the phenomenon. Those who would move from tolerance to the legitimization of specific rights for cohabiting homosexual persons need to be reminded that the approval or legalization of evil is something far different from the toleration of evil.

In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.”

“The principles of respect and non-discrimination cannot be invoked to support legal recognition of homosexual unions. Differentiating between persons or refusing social recognition or benefits is unacceptable only when it is contrary to justice. The denial of the social and legal status of marriage to forms of cohabitation that are not and cannot be marital is not opposed to justice; on the contrary, justice requires it.

Nor can the principle of the proper autonomy of the individual be reasonably invoked. It is one thing to maintain that individual citizens may freely engage in those activities that interest them and that this falls within the common civil right to freedom; it is something quite different to hold that activities which do not represent a significant or positive contribution to the development of the human person in society can receive specific and categorical legal recognition by the State. Not even in a remote analogous sense do homosexual unions fulfill the purpose for which marriage and family deserve specific categorical recognition. On the contrary, there are good reasons for holding that such unions are harmful to the proper development of human society, especially if their impact on society were to increase.”

“10. If it is true that all Catholics are obliged to oppose the legal recognition of homosexual unions, Catholic politicians are obliged to do so in a particular way, in keeping with their responsibility as politicians. Faced with legislative proposals in favor of homosexual unions, Catholic politicians are to take account of the following ethical indications.

When legislation in favor of the recognition of homosexual unions is proposed for the first time in a legislative assembly, the Catholic law-maker has a moral duty to express his opposition clearly and publicly and to vote against it. To vote in favor of a law so harmful to the common good is gravely immoral.

When legislation in favor of the recognition of homosexual unions is already in force, the Catholic politician must oppose it in the ways that are possible for him and make his opposition known; it is his duty to witness to the truth. If it is not possible to repeal such a law completely, the Catholic politician, recalling the indications contained in the Encyclical Letter Evangelium vitae, “could licitly support proposals aimed at limiting the harm done by such a law and at lessening its negative consequences at the level of general opinion and public morality”, on condition that his “absolute personal opposition” to such laws was clear and well known and that the danger of scandal was avoided. This does not mean that a more restrictive law in this area could be considered just or even acceptable; rather, it is a question of the legitimate and dutiful attempt to obtain at least the partial repeal of an unjust law when its total abrogation is not possible at the moment.”

“11. The Church teaches that respect for homosexual persons cannot lead in any way to approval of homosexual behavior or to legal recognition of homosexual unions. The common good requires that laws recognize, promote and protect marriage as the basis of the family, the primary unit of society. Legal recognition of homosexual unions or placing them on the same level as marriage would mean not only the approval of deviant behavior, with the consequence of making it a model in present-day society, but would also obscure basic values which belong to the common inheritance of humanity. The Church cannot fail to defend these values, for the good of men and women and for the good of society itself.

The Sovereign Pontiff John Paul II, in the Audience of March 28, 2003, approved the present Considerations, adopted in the Ordinary Session of this Congregation, and ordered their publication.”

I conclude this article by quoting a recent major Italian Supreme Court’s decision, which dismissing the complaint of the father, has given a child to the mother exclusively, even if the mother was living with another woman with whom she had a homosexual relationship, because the father had attacked the partner of the mother before the child and for 18 months he did not attend regular meetings with the child in a secure environment, in accordance with the precautionary decision of the judge.

The Supreme Court dismissed the complaint because: “the basis of the applicant’s complaint are not scientific certainties or data of experience, but the mere prejudice that living in a family centered on a homosexual couple could be detrimental to the balanced development of the child. In this way, it is assumed exactly what on the contrary is to be proved, i. e. the harmfulness of that family environment for the child “(Supreme Court of Cassation, judgment no. 601, Sec. Civil I – January 13, 2013).

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GAYS AND FREEDOM WITHOUT EQUALITY

Even in the twenty-first century Italy is found to be at the tail end of Europe in recognition of civil rights. The Pope’s speeches, which start from visions of homosexuality that have nothing to do with reality and legitimize a morality based on pure prejudice, finds easily paladins, especially in time of the election campaign. The tones range from the most clearly aggressive to those seemingly hesitant but the basic attitude is the same and is, unfortunately, very common, much more common in the high spheres of politics than in the Italian population. There is no real culture of civil rights.

Recently, both the Pope that some prelates have particularly emphasized the principle of religious freedom, a principle that even for a laymen is certainly crucial. A recent interview of Archbishop Mamberti published by the website of Vatican Radio, “Bishop Mamberti on judgments of the European Court of Human Rights: threatened freedom of religion and conscience” points out that the European Court has begun to recognize the rights of the Catholic Church in its relations with the States and with the individuals on the basis of the principle of religious freedom. One of the cases he cited in the article is “Fernández Martínez v. Spain”.

On 15 May 2012 the court in Strasbourg has issued the ruling in Martínez Fernández v. Spain (no. 56030/07). In the judgment, the court, by six votes to one, legitimated the decision of the Spanish episcopate not to renew the contract to a teacher, married priest and activist of the Movement (Pro celibato Opcional) to promote optional celibacy of the priests, because in this case, “has to be followed the principle of religious freedom protected by the CHARTER OF FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION

In Spain (as in Italy), teachers of religion in public institutions are State employees appointed on the nomination and approval of the local bishop, who has the power to revoke or not renew this agreement, being so public institute employer bound by the decision of the bishop. The Court considered that the main issue raised by the case is whether the State was required to give precedence to the applicant’s right to respect for his private life (art. 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights) on the alleged right of the Catholic Church to refuse to renew his contract. In this case, the Court considered that “this case is strictly religious, even if the applicant is an employee of the State.”

In fact, the Court’s decision is formally unexceptionable, although it is based on an assumption that is highly immoral i.e. the right granted by the Concordat between the Holy See and Spain according to which the Catholic Church is entitled to appoint and dismiss teachers at its discretion in a state school for a teaching that, for explicit recognition of the Court, is strictly related to a particular religious denomination, despite its being mandatory. The teaching in a State school of a discipline related to a particular religious denomination is not an exercise of religious freedom, but is rather an obvious wound inflicted on freedom of other religions. The problem arises in the same way in Italy.

What is meant by “religious freedom”? Religious freedom is the freedom of the Catholic Church or the freedom of all religions on the same level? In other words, it is permissible freedom without equality? Are Concordats that grant privileges to a single Church a permissible exercise of religious freedom or are a blatant violation of equality as necessary corollary of the religious freedom of others?

As the issue mentioned by Archbishop Mamberti is about Spain, we have to remember that Spain and the Holy See are bound by the Concordat signed in 1953, I quote a few items:

Article I
Roman Catholic Apostolic Religion continues to be the only religion of the Spanish nation and is entitled to the rights and prerogatives in accordance with the Divine Law and Canon Law.

Article VI
In accordance with the concession of the Popes St. Pius V and Gregory XIII, the Spanish priests will raise daily prayers for Spain and for the Head of State [then FRANCISCO FRANCO], according to the traditional formula and the requirements of the Sacred Liturgy.

Article XXVII
1. The Spanish State guarantees the teaching of the Catholic religion, as ordinary matter and compulsory in all educational institutions at all levels, both state and non-state actors.
Shall be exempt from such teaching the children of non-Catholics, at the request of a parent or legal guardian.
2. In the State primary schools the teaching of religion shall be provided by the teachers, unless, by the Ordinary (the Bishop), is not made opposition to any of them for the reasons to which it relates can. 1381 paragraph 3 of the Code of Canon Law. Will be given also to the pastor or his delegate with regular catechetical lessons.
3. In the state Intermediate Education Centers the teaching of religion shall be provided by priests or religious teachers, alternatively, by secular professors, appointed by the competent civil authority on a proposal from the Ordinary.
In the case of military schools the proposal will be up to the Castrense (military).Vicar General 
4. – omissis –
5. The teaching of religion in universities and similar centers will be taught by priests in possession of academic degree of Doctor, awarded by an ecclesiastical university, or equivalent in the case of religious Order. Passed the test of teaching ability, their appointment will be made on a proposal from the Ordinary.
6. Professors of religion, appointed in accordance with the provisions of the numbers 3, 4 and 5 of this Article, shall enjoy the same rights as other teachers and will be part of the teaching staff of the center of where they are.
They will be removed upon the request of the diocesan ordinary for any of the reasons contained in the above-mentioned can. 1381 paragraph 3 of the Code of Canon Law.
The diocesan Ordinary must first be heard when removing a professor of religion is considered necessary by the school responsible for teaching or disciplinary reasons.
7. Professors of religion in non-state schools must be equipped with a special certificate of competence issued by the Ordinary.
The revocation of this certificate deprives without doubt the teacher of the possibility of teaching religion.
8. Religion programs for both state and non-state schools will be determined in agreement with the competent ecclesiastical authority.
For the teaching of religion can be adopted only textbooks approved by the ecclesiastical authority.
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I wonder if the Concordat Church-Spain is really an exercise of freedom of religion or is rather the legalization of a certain type of religious freedom of the Catholic Church detrimental to equality, i.e. to the same religious freedom of other faiths. Evidently the principle of religious freedom, as the Catholic Church understands it, is compatible with systems privileges granted by Concordats. Even the European Union keeps itself away from addressing issues of this kind, but in the name of religious freedom is still opposed the recognition of the fundamental rights of equality that the same CHARTER OF FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS OF THE EUROPEAN UNION explicitly protects.

TITLE III – EQUALITY

Article 20 – Equality before the law
Everyone is equal before the law.

Article 21 – Non-discrimination
1. Any discrimination based on any ground such as sex, race, colour, ethnic or social origin, genetic features, language, religion or belief, political or any other opinion, membership of a national minority, property, birth, disability, age or sexual orientation shall be prohibited.

Unfortunately, a Concordat is more important than these principles.

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FROM PERPLEXED HETERO TO HAPPY GAY

Hello Project,
From some months now I follow Gay Project that is practically unique throughout the network and allowed me to understand many things and gave a serious answer to many questions.

My name is Max, I am 29 years old, luckily for me I have a good job, which is a rarity these days, and I live on my own in a small town in the northern Italy. To accept my being gay it took me so long, I had two girlfriends, the first story was a thing of little weight, but the second was important. I needed a rest, I felt alone, I was 26 years old when it started.

I was used to let myself go with this girl, at least a little, then I realized the reason but I didn’t realize at that time. I had sex with her, but in a very strange way, I never took the initiative, such things didn’t event come into my mind, she had to do everything, I abandoned myself just passively and she brought me to orgasm as well. The first few times, that’s what I understood later, it seemed important to me to have an erection with a girl because this drove away the fear of being gay. When I reached orgasm I fell a sense of disappointment, as if it were something completely stupid and in fact for me it was just a physical reaction. She was used to give great importance to the fact that I had reached orgasm, she felt really proud of that.

Only a very few times I’ve been to stimulate her, but she had to basically teach me everything because I had no idea of how a woman could get excited. I think that in general a 26 year old guy knows very well what to do to a woman but I did not know. She wanted me to try penetration but I never did, a little out of fear that she became pregnant and a bit because for me it was not a spontaneous thing. So, according to her, things were going very well and I was just a little clumsy but I knew that it was not the case and that I was forced, as you say, I was “doing an experiment” on myself to see if I could eventually adapt to living with a woman.

The fact of having sex with her, however, gave me the feeling of not being gay and things went on like this, and here comes my discovery of your blog, in fact I had then also another sex life, I masturbated but always just watching gay videos or making fantasies about guys I met at the gym. Frankly these things, then, hadn’t any great significance for me, I said to myself that it was to make comparisons just like, I think, all the straight guys do and then, after all, it didn’t even happen so often.

I never made fantasies about girls but then it seemed to me obvious and almost meritorious because I had a girlfriend who had sex with me. With my girlfriend I had a very special relationship because her parents didn’t even know that we were somehow in love, or at least I had not ever wanted them to know because, I think, subconsciously I was afraid of getting bound, instead friends knew, both her and mine and, after all, that my friends knew it, for me, was an important thing. I had told her about a lot of strange things, about why I didn’t want to marry her and didn’t even want to have children, all these things seemed absurd to her and she was quite sure that she could change my mind.

Sometimes I thought that she considered me as a person of very little importance and that she was only interested in me to involve me into her life in order to complete her project of life, however, I can say that sex between us had become a habit, we were together also to have sex and I liked it, or at least tolerated it, but then when it was over I forgot the whole thing and did not think about until the next time and basically I didn’t want it really. I remember that when we were together she was totally focused on sex on the contrary I was thinking about something else and I was wondering why I was having sex with her.

We weren’t used to talk about us, but always and only about her projects that in fact did not concern us as couple but our being a couple in the eyes of other people, we were talking about going here or there, doing this or that, nothing more. I was surprised that nevertheless she felt in love with me but I think she really felt.

A couple of years ago I happened by chance on Gay Project and I began to read. The more I read, the more I opened my eyes. At one point I said: but then I’m really gay! I was used to think that the fact that I had never done those things that are said to be typical of gay guys was a clear evidence that I was not gay, and in addition I had sex with a girl. Then by reading more and more your blog, this reasoning was beginning to seem absurd, I began to think to the fact that sexual fantasies are a serious matter and slowly, I can say, I started living that things with more awareness, but at most I could consider myself bisexual, that was the idea I had formed of me, but then that idea has been shattered, but I didn’t like the idea of being gay.

The forum helped me a lot, but now sex with my girlfriend had become a habit and frankly I thought it would be still better to have sex with a guy whom I fantasized about but I thought it was absolutely impossible for me as a concrete experience. Let’s say that I had reached a balance, a compromise, certainly unstable but reassuring.

Then three months ago things have changed, I met by accident a guy 21 y. o.. He came where I work and had some work problems to be solved, things were rather complicated and he asked me if I could help him. The way he asked me and his appearance made me come to a heart attack. I was enchanted. I had other work to do but I invited him to sit down and I closed the door. He began to tell me about various problems and I tried to find the best solution concentrating at most. Not all problems could be solved immediately, for some things we needed our attention and time.

We met again in the following days. We were experiencing more and more a wonderful climate. I went to work just to see that guy. I asked myself a lot of questions and he did the same thing. Slowly the atmosphere became very pleasant, he called at home to get information and always we ended up chatting about things that with the work had nothing to do. Both were trying to prolong the conversation as much as possible. It took a little to start a conversation less formal and more friendly, then came the first pizza together and the first evening spent talking in the car, then he asked me how I figured out and accepted it, I told him that everything happened without any problem, all came very natural, and he told me about himself and even that he had spent long nights to read blog posts of Project.

The day when we told each other everything was beautiful, I think it was something absolutely unique and I felt very happy. When I looked into his eyes and I saw his smile I was the happiest man in the world, I wanted to hug him but I did not have the courage neither had he, I was afraid that even the slightest physical contact could break the spell. We met for almost three months, and then he told me that it was his first time and he wanted to make love with me, I told him all my fears, insisting that I had a girlfriend although frankly I wanted to be with him only. With him, I could also talk about my sexual fantasies.

Sometimes it seemed impossible that a guy like him could be in love with me, but things were just so. I felt a sexual attraction to him but also a strong total tenderness, I loved him just as a person, he made me feel loved, made me feel that he loved me, trusted me completely, we were happy together and we are still. Project, what you write about gay affectivity is absolutely true. Recently, I spent two days with him and I do not think I could do without it.

It is two weeks that I no longer see my girlfriend, I could not tell her anything and in the end I’m sorry but I do not think she would understand. When we had the opportunity to talk about gay people she replied as one who takes no offense but with “them” just doesn’t want to have anything to do.

I believe that I have never been so happy as today. It is not a matter of sex, it’s that I feel just totally in love with this guy. In everything he does and says there never was a discordant note and such a guy is in love with me! Guys, before meeting him, I was convinced that my life would have been to have sex with a woman without any real involvement and act like I was in love with her, I thought I’d never have a boyfriend, I took it for granted, and then at age 29 the possibilities decrease, but no! As you say, Project, when you meet the right guy, life changes. And I love my boyfriend totally, I like him in every way, just as a person because he’s truly a good person, a honest guy who wants to love and be loved. I want to tell everyone, do not put in your head that love does not exist and you will not find it because when you least are waiting for him, a guy looks into your eyes and your life changes! A hug to everyone! And one very special to Project (now I really understand the deep meaning of what you said!)

Max

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